Hitting A Low

We all get these days where we struggle to appreciate what we have and to find motivation. It doesn’t really matter what you call them: lows, slumps, holes, downs, it’s all kind of the same thing. You don’t have motivation and all you want to do is hide from human interaction and to do nothing at all. A lot of times this happens when you’re stressed or, as life has the tendency to do, everything simply goes wrong for a period of time and you are just done and can’t be bothered with it anymore. Days when everything you try to do seems to go wrong. Days when you just want to go into hiding and not do anything at all

Today I want to share my tips in overcoming these slumps.

 

• Listen to music that makes you feel good about yourself and life

My top five songs for that at the moment are ‘The Good, The Bad and The Dirty’ by Panic! At the Disco, ‘Stressed Out’ by Twenty One Pilots, ‘Unstoppable’ by Sia, ‘This Means War’ by Marianas Trench and ‘Girls Talk Boys’ by 5 Seconds of Summer.

• Watch something or read something that gives you the chance to detach from reality for a while

For me it’s watching ‘Reign’ and book wise I have been absorbed again by ‘Harry Potter’ because what better way is there to escape reality than to imagine being in Hogwarts.

• Go out and do something with friends

This might be the last thing you want to do as it includes socialising, getting dressed and leaving your room, but trust me the distraction by other people is actually a really good way to get your mind off being down and low. It doesn’t need to be much, maybe just watching a film with someone, grabbing some food or simply going for a coffee to give your brain a break from overthinking.

• Make food that you love

When I am down I lose my appetite and it sucks so no matter how bad I feel I still try to make food that will improve my mood, so for example pancakes usually help me because pancakes literally are my life. It doesn’t matter what kind and I am becoming the champion at whipping up pancakes even if I only have half of the ingredients at home.

• Remind yourself of all the good things in your life

For me those are things that are like reminding me that I am lucky to have incredible friends that will be there for me no matter what, that I can be at uni studying what I want, that I get to study in the country of my choosing, stuff like that.

• Remind yourself that these slumps will pass and that it’ll be better again

No matter how bad things may seem at that point in time, I promise it will look up again! There will always be days where it hits you and the negativity wins, but it won’t stay forever like that, there will be good things happening to you soon enough and in the end you’ll get stronger from the hardship (yes I know it’s cliché but it is true).

 

The most important thing is that you try to not take it over your life and you fight your way through. If you struggle to get through you should try talking to a friend about it or if it gets really bad, try to contact a counsellor or doctor!

 

What about you? Do you have any tips or tricks that get you through hard times and slumps? Leave a comment below.

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September Favourites

Hey guys,

hope you’re all enjoying your sunday. I’m a bit stressed with moving into a new Student accomodation and papers for Uni, but there are a few things that made this month better. So here are my September favourites for you:

Music:

I’m totally digging Closer by the Chainsmokers and Halsey lately, I just can’t stop listening to it. It’s a different sound to what I normally prefer, but it’s really positive and chill and I like the lyrics.

Books:

A book that really got to me  this month was “What’s a girl gotta do” by Holly Bourne. It’s the third part of her “spinster club” book series, about the three friends Evie, Amber and Lottie. Lottie starts a project where she has to call out every  single sexist thing she sees for a month and vlogs about it. Despite getting hate from her school mates and people on the internet and realizing how hard it is to really change something she keeps going. It made me realize how many things, that we never think about are sexist  and even strong people are allowed to show weakness sometimes.

Food:

I’m always all about garlic, but when I’m stressed even more, it’s my go to comfort food. My go to garlic bread recipe is just mix butter with lots of crushed garlic and a little bit of salt then cut baguette in half spread the butter on both sides and put it under the grill until the butter is melted and the garlic bits are crunchy. You can also melt some mozzarella on top !

TV:

I’m very late on this and you’ve probably all already seen it, but I’ve started watching breaking bad the other day. It’s about a chemistry teacher who gets lung cancer and decides to start cooking crystal meth. Of course he keeps getting into more and more trouble. It’s really cool and interesting to see the characters change from a psychological point of view.

Clothing:

It’s autumn and even though I’m really dreading winter; it’s finally cold enough to wear my favourite leather jacket again. Leather jackets just never go out of style and you can wear them with basically anything. An other advantage is that you just look super cool and badass with it. As a vegetarian I always prefer fake leather of course.

That was it with my favourites for this month. Hope you’re all enjoying the rest of september.

Stay rad,

Alli xx

Pics :http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29740718-what-s-a-girl-gotta-do http://nbc.com.co/vince-gilligan-announces-breaking-bad-season-6-begins-shooting-december-2015-walt-did-not-die/                             https://de.pinterest.com/monicaobaga/curvy-closet/

Vegans vs Meateaters

Hey guys,

todays blogpost is about an issue that’s been pissing me off for a long time. I’m talking about that constant fight between meateaters and vegans. As a vegetarian I’m kind of standing between the lines and get comments from both sides. So I wrote to letters to them. Of course not all people are as I’m describing them in the letters but there are lots. So please don’t be offended.

Dear Meateaters,

Can I just ask what Vegans have done to you ? Did they maybe kill your dog? Well as they are agains any cruelty towards animals, I doubt it. So then why don’t you like them? Why do you feel the need to constantly make fun of them? Whenever I tell one of you that I’m a vegetarian I’m scared you’ll make fun of me. Again. Sometimes you just get awkward and ask me in this weird voice why I’m doing that. Some of you say almost apologetically: well I hardly ever eat meat anyway. That’s the nice answers. Sometimes I just get eye rolling and groaning. And then there’s the sentence: “Well at least you’re not a vegan“. Oh really ?? What if I was ? Would you not want to know me anymore ? It doesn’t make you a different person if you’re vegan. They are not some weird freaks, they’re people like you and me. And yes you don’t have to be worried they get all their protein. So what do you have against them ? You might say it’s because you’re sceptical towards people who live differently. I think it’s the fact that they sometimes make you think , they’re more disciplined than you or you actually know that they’re doing a good thing. But that’s fine, as long as you let them do their thing, they’ll probably leave you alone and won’t discuss with you as well. Wouldn’t it be boring if everyone was the same ? So maybe think about the way you behave and what you say the next time someone tells you they’re vegetarian or vegan. They most likely won’t eat you.

Dear Vegans,

First of all I want to let you know that I think you’re leading a wonderful lifestyle and I really admire you because I guess it must take quite some strength and discipline. You’re doing a good thing I’m not even gonna pretend you’re not. But here’s the thing. Not everyone wants to be like you. There are even people who can’t live like you. Being able to live vegan is a privilege have you ever thought about it this way ? Some people have so many food allergies, that they don’t have many options left. Other’s just can’t go vegan because they get sick from missing certain vitamins. Then there’s the problem that most vegan products are super pricey, so for example I as a student can’t afford a vegan lifestyle. Also some people just don’t like the taste of the majority of vegan products and you can’t expect from them to give up their living quality. So please stop to try and convonce everyone to go Vegan, stop making people feel bad for how they live, then it would be so much easier for others to accept your lifestyle. We can’t all safe the world the same way. Of course it’s good to stand for what you believe in and you have every right to defend yourself, but you have to learn when to let go and leave people alone. Let people make their own choices. I think you’ll have it much easier.

Love you all

Allixx

Pic: http://www.nutraingredients.com/var/plain_site/storage/images/publications/food-beverage-nutrition/nutraingredients.com/research/typical-vegan-diet-lacks-key-nutrients-supplements-can-help-study/11005079-1-eng-GB/Typical-vegan-diet-lacks-key-nutrients-supplements-can-help-Study_strict_xxl.jpg

Why I love studying social sciences:

When I told my family that I wanted to go to university to study International Politics they all had that kind of smile on their face of “That’s not a real subject to study but okay” because yes social sciences are real studies but to many people for some reason it doesn’t seem as hard as a lot of ‘proper’ sciences. Which to some extent may be true.

Even if it is not hard in the sense of being hard meaning to do it right to get to the solution that you are looking for and in the sense that you have to know a lot of formulas in order to actually be able to do it, I think Social Sciences are often misconceived. Sure we don’t sit down to do incredibly hard maths exercises or have to memorise all the bones in the human body or what happens within a cell, but we too have to memorise a lot of theories, very, very old theories and believe me to fight your way through the original texts of let’s say Thomas Hobbes or John Locke is not easy peasy as they used such a different English than what we are used to today. But this isn’t supposed to be a posed on justifying the difficulty level of social sciences, but on why it is great to study them.

First of all you get to read a lot. And by a lot I mean you are basically supposed to be constantly reading. For each of the modules I am taking this semester I am supposed to be reading 10 hours per week, which simply adds up to basically a full time job of reading. But you read interesting things most of the time (tbh I didn’t really enjoy reading original texts of people that died centuries ago, however it was fascinating to see how much and how little has changed at the same time and how some theories developed hundreds of years ago still could be applied on our society today), for example this semester I am doing a module on Human Rights and I would say that is a topic that even if you are not usually politically interested is interesting to read on simply because it applies to all of us. One aspect that I love about the reading is that it often contests your ideas of what you believe to know and challenges your opinions or gives you reasons to justify them. Going back to human rights growing up in my Western View bubble I wouldn’t see anything wrong with them but if you think about it they have been created by countries with very similar values and some countries due to their own traditions reject certain rights that seem perfectly reasonable for us, so it kind of raises the question of why we think we should be allowed to pressure our ideals on other people, doesn’t it?

Another positive point about the reading is that your general knowledge and your critical thinking abilities grow a lot. You start questioning things in the news or on media, you challenge a lot of statements by experts and people pretending to be so on TV, you start to have a good ground for what seems to be ‘sophisticated conversations’ (That’s what other people seem to think, I just like being opinionated and to ramble on about things that I read).

A second thing that I like about social sciences is that it is always relevant. No matter what you talk about or what is going on either in your life or what you see in the news you usually can related it in one way or another to your degree and it often starts conversations. Especially with Politics. The amount of times I have mentioned that I study politics and people went straight into asking my opinion about all the elections that are currently going on or have happened in the recent time is quite impressive. Also for some reason people seem to think that you are smart when you know what is going on in current events which is a great benefit.

A third aspect that is great is that you can never be completely wrong or right. Tbh it can be annoying too but it is a great way to start discussions and get a lot of different opinions from different people as well. You learn to structure arguments and to make a convincing point, you learn to be tolerant, you learn to listen to people and to hear their opinions and you learn to accept that not everyone will have the same view as you. This is probably the most important lesson that you learn from social sciences is that there is always going to be more than one way to do things and that there will never be a perfect way to do it and that there are always going to be people who are not going to be happy with whatever you do.

Basically what I am trying to say is that social sciences may not seem to many people as hard or as ‘proper’ as other subjects and the question “What do you plan on doing with your degree” will always be a steady part of studying, but a degree in social sciences will give you a well rounded education not only subject related but also in the ‘transferable skills’ that everyone always goes on about. It’s definitely not a waste of time and if nothing else you’ll be able to at least able to win an argument against the people telling you that simply because you have the skills to build a proper argument.

 

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TED TALKS

This week I have returned to Uni and let’s just put it that way: I am mildly excited to be back! Like I am so excited for my classes and yes I do realise that makes me sound like a geek, but I honestly just love my degree. With the new Uni year for me there are almost as many New Year’s Resolutions as on the 1st of January such as you know eat healthy, study a lot, go to the gym etc., like your standard thing. As a politics students I have added some others to the list as I have talked to friends about it and these two resolutions are hopefully going to become habits soon. The first resolution is to watch the news every day. I mean how hard can it be right, 15 minutes and it’s done, I tried it last year and sometimes I simply forgot a lot of times, but this year I am going to attempt it again, because duh I am a politics student, plus I think everyone should get their daily intake of what is happening in the world and with that I don’t just mean being up to date with all new puppy videos they are, which to be honest I always have a look at too. The second resolution is the reason for this blog post. It is about watching a less than 20 minute video on TED or TEDx. What is that? I am glad you asked.

TED is a website that uploads videos of people doing talks about something that is their field of expertise. It originally started as a conference in 1984, but it became a regular event every year in 1990 and has since then grown and spread. It started as a conference for Technology, Entertainment and Design but now it covers 394 topics (yes I counted them myself) so you can be sure for there to be something that you find interesting or something that you have never heard about but may find interesting if you give it a chance. It also doesn’t matter which language you speak because there are subtitles for most videos in over 100 languages. The aim of the organisation is to be able to “make great ideas accessible and spark conversation” (https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization) so yay it’s free, at least online. They post a new video every day of a speech that has been held in recent time or at one of the conferences. There is for once the annual TED conference, there is the TEDGlobal Conference, the TEDWomen conference with a focus on female empowerment and a TEDYouth Conference that is aimed at middle to high school students. In addition to the official TED Talks there are also TEDx Events that are independent events which are organised which have a free license from TED to hold them. All these videos are uploaded and shared as well.

The first time I came across TED talks in any form was actually on facebook when people were sharing the video of Lizzie Velasquez who has been named the ugliest woman alive. She held an inspiring speech on how she defines herself and how she struggles with a syndrome that only two other people have in the world.

After this I sadly forgot about the side again, but a friend of mine actually reminded me on its existence and his plan to watch one video a day from them. So I thought, sure why not! I am attempting to watch a 15 minute video a day, so I can surely add a second one and it’s great. Luckily though there is a random video button, because there are so many choices and I want to branch out in what I know about so maybe a talk about the universe or archaeology might spark a completely new field of interest for me.

Anyways I am off to do just that. Watch a video and keep up with my resolutions on Day 2 (I know it’s impressive). To everyone starting Uni, I hope you enjoy every minute of it and to all the returning students: I hope you don’t have too much work yet. Lots of Love,

Katie

Check Out TED Talks on their Website

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New Releases in the music world

Every time I have turned on the radio last week everybody was talking about the new mega releases artist have, so I thought, what better do than write about it and talk about some of them.

1. Lady Gaga – Perfect Illusion

How could I start this list without putting the queen herself first? After what felt like years the queen of pop has released a new song, finally for all the little monsters taste.

So far I’ve only listened to it once this afternoon when I drove home from grocery shopping and I have to say, although it’s a bit different to her last album, you clearly can hear the Lady Gaga edge to it.

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2. Green Day – Revolution Radio

After what felt like centuries Green Day are finally back with a new song (gosh, punk/rock fans are blessed, with the new Blink 182 album, Good Charlotte Album and now this) which is the first ssingle off of the same titeled album which will be out on the 7th October. So far I haven’t heard it, I know how dare I, but as everything Green Day does it can only be amazing and a right treat for every Green Day fan or people who enjoy this kind of music.

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3. Kings of Leon – Waste a Moment

Once again, Kings of Leon must have put out music years ago. Surly everybody remembers iconic songs like ‘Sex On Fire’ or ‘Use Somebody’. I don’t think I’m exhilarating when I’m saying that surely everybody must be exciting to hear new stuff by them playing on the radio.

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4. Mac Miller ft. Ariana Grande– My Favourite Part

Do I even have to say anything about this song? Every song Ariana Grande is on is a smasher and I’m sure this song isn’t different. This girl could touch poop and it would turn into gold. With this incredible voice this isn’t any wonder, isn’t it?

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5. Post Malone ft. Justin Bieber – Deja Vu

Every Belieber hold on to your seats. If you are like me and not quite over JB’s last hits ‘Cold Water’ and ‘Let Me Love You’ you must be very strong now. Here he is with a new feature. As we all know since his little break and he came out with his album ‘Purpose’ full of hits, he’s doing incredibly well. Can’t really be a bad song with him on it at the moment, can it?

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6. One Republic – Future Looks Good

After ‘Kids’ and ‘Wherever I Go’ ‘Future Looks Good’ is One Republic’s new smashing hit off of their upcoming album ‘Oh My My’ (which is coming out on the 7th October by the way). Since the last two songs were super successful all around the world, there is basically no way this song won’t be a hit either. With a front man named Ryan Tedder there is nothing different to expect, really.

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7. Sia – The Greatest

Don’t think I have forgotten Sia, nono, I haven’t. How could I forget her? As I read online Sia fans are on the edge of their seat from excitement since she released her new single. But could you expect something different from her? I’m sure ‘The Greatest’ will be as successful as her other songs in the past. Hair like this must produce great songs.

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8. Melanie C – Anymore

Spice Girls fans be prepared, Mel C herself released a new song. I guess I’m not the only one who will listening to this song with a following celebratory Spice Girl dance party, right?

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9. James Arthur – Say You Won’t Let Go

You remember James Arthur? The absolute talent who won the British X-factor back in 2012 and had his massive break-through with his incredible single ‘Impossible’. He is back with a new song. I personally couldn’t be more exciting because I think he has an incredible voice plus is an amazing artist and I could listen to him even sing about poop and I would buy it.

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10. Busted – Coming Home

Every Busted song is amazing and takes me right back to when I was little/ an early teen, so when I read that they’re bringing out a new song I couldn’t wait to hear it. Definitely check them out if you haven’t yet.

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Of course they have been more releases this week, but I thought 10 would be enough for today. If you want us write more about music like this let us know and we’re sure to do so because we’re all great music lovers with similar but yet different music tastes.

Lots of love,

Jenny xxx.

Lilis #GuyBoss of the month – Jack and Finn Harries

Happy Sunday Sunday everyone!
This week it is time for my #GuyBoss of the month. This month I don’t really have only one, but technically two, as I chose *insert drum roll here*: JACK AND FINN HARRIES or Jackson and Finnigan Harries, which are their full names.
You may know Jack as a YouTuber from his channel Jacksgap, that he created out of fun during his gap year. You may also know Jack from some acting he did when he was younger. Well, obviously you then know Finn as he is Jacks twin, duh! Kind of obvious but I mean there might be a few out there who just don’t know any of them. Finn never actually made his own channel, instead, he does more of the behind the scenes work.

Jack started out like every other Youtuber, posting Vlogs or challenges, just talking about his life and in some videos Finn would appear and they’d open fanmail together or do other goofy things.
However, over the years the content on Jacksgap has changed dramatically and in my opinion it also got 100 times better.
After not posting videos for quite some time they came back with a documentary on their experience participating in a Rickshaw run in India. Videos about climate change, documentaries about people with quite peculiar jobs or backgrounds and their shed sessions followed.
What is most striking about these videos is the quality and the content. It is not some of the meaningless content you can often find on Youtube (I consider my videos meaningless content as well, although I try to bring messages across, I know that for example my hauls aren’t of high educational value). They do their own research, they film and edit with a team that is close to them and of course they also get sponsored by Skype, as an example but I mean how else are you gonna afford traveling around the world to film your videos, that at the same time have such important messages.
What I admire about them as well is, that they went to University. Jack only for a year, in Bristol but still! Finn went to Leeds to study there for a year and is now at University in New York. Showing that pursuing an education at Uni can be fun and important is just lovely and I think more Youtubers should be concerned about this topic just like they are. Of course they have other focuses but it just makes education more appealing and that is such an important message to bring across to young children.
Back to their Videos: What mainly makes them a #GuyBoss is, that they weren’t afraid to change their content. Yes, maybe they were hesitant about what people would think but they had a message and they managed to bring it across. Their videos deal with such important issues, it’s inspiring. I can just hope they change young peoples opinions about our world, in a positive way. Furthermore, their editing skills are truly mesmerizing. I sometimes wish more Youtubers would put quality before quantity. I am not bothered by the fact that they don’t post a video every week or sometimes not even every six months but when they post one, I do know I can look forward to some great content that is interesting, eye opening and has an awesome message. That is what makes them my #GuysBoss of the month.
All in all, I just hope that Jack and Finn continue their amazing journey on becoming, what I think you can consider, incredible directors and film makers. They inspire all of us to think outside the box and consider important issues in this world to be more relevant than we may perceive them. We tend to think about ourselves way too much, without seeing the big picture and I think Jack and Finn do a wonderful job of objective and still highly interesting content that shows us the big picture.

If you have not checked them out yet, where have you been? Go and watch their videos NOW! That’s an order.
Loads of love,
Lili xx

Twitter: @castway_minds
Instagram: @castwayminds

Featured image taken from the jacksgap website: http://jacksgap.com

Do My Fashion Choices Make Me A Bad Feminist?

Sláinte me loves!

I officially settled in in Ireland and I know this means “cheers” but this is beside the point. This week we had our feminism theme week, which had me very excited. I thought about all the different topics I could write about and to be fair the girls already got you covered with super interesting insights on their opinions about feminism in media, stereotypes against feminism or what it’s like being a feminist.

Now as you know, I am a Make Up and Fashion addict and I like to express myself through my clothes but I also strongly identify as a feminist. I believe in equality and that everyone has the right to live their life in whatever way they choose to, as long as it is not degrading or hurting anyone. At the same time, I enjoy dressing, what some people might consider, sexy or let’s just say I like tight dresses and heels.

Over the past couple of years I’ve grown from an awkward teenage girl into a kind of more confident but still pretty awkward 20-year-old and the older I got the more I identified as being a feminist but I also got more and more into fashion and make up. It just happens that people ,therefore, don’t take me seriously anymore, as a feminist and as a confident woman that has the right to be treated just the same as any man.

Does it make me a bad feminist if I enjoy wearing dresses and skirts?

To me, this is very similar to the whole rape culture topic and I loathe having to talk about it over and over again. But you know what? Why don’t I show you dresses that might be more appropriate for someone who identifies as a feminist, after all, this is a really tricky topic. You want to be seen as a serious woman and that of course depends immensely on your outer appearance as society has taught us.

    

Maybe dress number one or two from Boohoo.com would be more suitable or the little black dress from tophsop? What makes them so incredibly feministic you may ask…well..nothing of course. My fashion choices do not determine if I identify as a feminist or not I also do not share the opinion that I am setting a bad example for others or that I am reducing my role as a woman to a sex object or a dumb doll. If you didn’t know already, I feel comfortable, I dress for myself

found on tumblr

and if that is not a feminist thing to do, I don’t know what is.
It is this concept that people have in their minds of women in dresses or skirts, who cannot be taken seriously because after all, little girls like dresses, princesses wear dresses. Why on earth can’t I feel like a princess and at the same time believe in feminism, why can’t I stand up for equal rights in that dress. If I’m standing up for my rights then I want to look the part, so I will for sure rock that bodycon dress that accentuates my curves and that I feel comfortable in. It is then society, that has to change their way of perceiving feminists and women. Same goes for Make Up:

Am I less of a feminist if I enjoy wearing Make Up?

 

found on tumblr as well

To be honest, I do struggle with this question as well as the clothing question. The beauty industry makes money off womens insecurities, kind of, and that does not really sound too feministic. On the other hand I strongly believe in the concept of us being stronger when we have the chance to truly be ourselves and discover all facettes of our being. It makes us better humans and to me personally make up plays a big part in this. It gives me the chance to make myself feel beautiful not for anyone else but for me. That is very feministic indeed and therefore I doubt anyone could ever say that just because I like to dress up and put on some fierce looking lipstick, I am less confident and cannot be a feminist.

 

My point is: Society and men like to make girls, that identify as feminists, believe they now have to give away all their clothes for charity, curse every make up tutorial ever created or let their eyebrows turn into a wild rainforest. In my opinion you should not feel like this. What matters are your believes and that you stand up for them and if you like to do that in jeans, chucks and a charity shirt, in a tennis skirt, polo shirt and boat shoes or in heels and a cocktail dress should not matter to anyone. Therefore, we as feminists also have to make sure to let people know that wearing Make Up does not determine the level of how much we are involved in feminism. We should feel free to experiment and we should always feel confident, especially as feminists.

Have you encountered any situations in which your clothes or your Make Up were used to make a point against you being a feminist? Let me know by tweeting us or messaging us on instagram, of course you can also leave a comment.

Lili xx

Twitter: @castaway_minds

Instagram: @castawayminds

 

What it’s like being a feminist

Heyy guys,

as you might  know I consider myself a big feminist , so I absolutely loooooove this theme week. Not only because I finally know what to write about.

You decided to be a feminist ? Great choice you’re defintely doing the right thing. Now get ready for being annoyed, ridiculed and given weird looks everywhere you go. I once read something which I think describes getting into feminism pretty well. It’s like learning how to drive . Before you learn to drive you’re just sitting in the car minding you’re own business, not caring or even looking what’s going on on the road. Once you start doing you’re driving license, you notice all These pricks on the road breaking the rules and driving like 5 year olds on bobbycars. Same for feminism : once you know what it’s about you can’t unsee all the injustice in a daily life.

That kind of thing happened to me. I didn’t suddenly decide to be a feminist, it wasn’t like Alice Schwarzer appeared in one of my dreams, burned all my bras and screamed “I choose you, Alli, join the dark side” ( Even though that would have been pretty cool). I was much more raised into being a feminist. My mother never dressed me in all pink or told me I can’t do certain things, because it’s not ladylike. She told me jokes about men and when 7year old me stated I’d rather want to be a boy, because they’re stronger and braver, she explained to me that wasn’t true and I could be all that while being a girl. I was raised to accept transsexuals and homosexuals and taught they were just like everyone else. I kind of grew up being a feminist without even realizing it. What I wasn’t aware of back then , is that they’re also bad drivers out there. I realized that when I got into social media and read all these things about feminism. That was when I decided the thing that came to me naturally was something I wanted to stand up for.

But enough of me. Once you start being a feminist, there are so many challenges you have to face. I’m not even going to go into detail about getting pissed off, by family members , friends, strangers , teachers , politicians etc etc every 5 minutes. Once you face sexist comments you have two possibilities. One : You swallow it. Again and again and again. And again. At some point you’ll think you’re going to burst, from all the rants and comebacks you didn’t let out. So that leaves you to possibility number two: Call them out ! This sounds easier than it is. You’ll never be able to actually think of a good comeback or a good way to explain to people why what they said was wrong. And even if you manage to say something reasonable, most people will refuse to try and understand your point, they’ll give you dirty looks, groan, roll their eyes and make fun of you. Or even better start useless discussions why you are wrong and “not all men” “well that might be your opinion but” and come up with reasons why you’re wrong that don’t have anythimg to do with what you just said. Also there are people you might find harder to call out than others. I mean honestly I don’t think most people wouldn’t mind to finally call out their racist Uncle Norbert on his bullshit. But what if it’s your crush ? Or a friend you just made ? I actually called out my crush on being sexist the other day and guess what he’s still talking to me. I also called out my best friend before, because used the word sl*t and I told her I don’t like that word and why. And we’re still friends. Even though you might find it hard to criticise the people you like, it probably won’t and as bad as you might think it will, so you should totally do it.  Once they’re used to it, everyone will immediately look at you if someone says something sexist and be like do you not want to say anything ? Guess what sometimes I don’t want to say something because it might not be the appropriate moment to start a discussion or because we gave up on educating a certain person ages ago. Sometimes it would make more sense to talk to a wall, so I stop trying. Sometimes we even realize it was just a joke. Because guess what if it’s not disrespecting anyone’s existence feminists are able to take a joke. So yeah once people realize what things piss you off because you’re a feminist there are two possible outcomes: they provoke you and start discussing with you on every single occasionjust because they think it’s funny. That’s the more likely one . Or if you’re lucky they avoid certain comments when they’re around you or apologize for them. It makes you feel a little happy that you might actually have changed something, even though you can’t be sure they’re not just trying to avoid upsetting you and don’t really think about why it’s offensive. Yes there are lots of annoying aspects about being a feminist and you can get sick of constantly feeling like you’re pissing people off. Nut still it’s necessary. I’d rather people get annoyed at me than staying quiet about the things in our society that are the reason I even have to be annoying and talk about them. There aren’t only bad things though . Being a feminist gave me so much and helped me grow as a person. It made me feel better about myself, gave me confidence, body positivity and made me realize my own worth. It might seem exhausting sometimes but you get so much back and also stand up for something important.

Yeah that was my little view inside the life of a feminist. Feel free to share your experiences on our twitter @castaway_minds.

have a lovely day

Alli xx

Pics : http://grrrlzdaiy.blogsport.de/2014/02/19/bring-your-ill-become-a-feminist-book-2/

http://giphy.com/search/feminist-rant

Stereotypes against feminism

As you all may be aware we are talking about Feminism this week and I wanted to address an issue that is a major problem surrounding feminism: Stereotypes. For some reason people have a very distinct image of feminism and what feminists are like so let’s have a look at those stereotypes.
Feminists hate men:

Ehm yeah obviously, because we all love a god generalisation and that’s why we certainly believe that every man on this world is evil and oppressive. Like seriously? Feminism isn’t about hating men or the idea of men, it is about equal rights for both genders. It has nothing to do with hating one gender or preferring one gender over the other, it has to do with wanting females and males to have the same opportunities and rights. And just because you think it’s unjust that men are more likely to be paid more and you state the obvious that it is not okay, it doesn’t mean you hate men, you just hate the social construct of gender roles.

Feminists are lesbians:

This goes kind of along with the first stereotype, because I mean if we all hate men, we need to be lesbian, right? I mean that’s the only logical conclusion. This is one thing that I really don’t understand but that basically underlines the stupidity of this world. Like apparently if you stand up for yourself and others, if you are being loud and vocal about injustice within our society, that makes a statement about your sexuality? Like how are these two things even related? I am sorry but I really don’t get it. So once and for all: No, feminist does not equal lesbian, because our believe of what society should be like does not determine our sexuality in any way.

Feminists are all ugly:

Another one that makes me want to pull my own hair out. Your outer appearance has nothing to do with your believes, same as your sexuality has nothing to do with it. We are not all bitter because we can’t get a husband, we simply want to be seen as an equal human being and not just for our body parts. And I mean if you say feminists are all ugly, you, just as an example, just called Emma Watson ugly, so what is wrong with you?

Feminists hate families:

Again seriously? Why should feminists hate families? Being opposed to the general assumption that women should stop working and their only purpose is to stay home and keep the house clean and look after the children is a valid point. But just because people don’t like the idea that women are expected to stay home when they have a child and to give up their passions in order to keep a clean house for her husband, doesn’t mean that you hate families. Our society has progressed and luckily there are now plenty of opportunities for women to have children and work, yes it is still hard hence why we still need to fight for equal treatment. But we do have a lot more options. Also there are nowadays so many different types of families that you can’t even generalise this (I mean generalising is stupid anyways).

Feminists hate stay-at-home-moms:

Well this is related to the previous one and no, you don’t hate stay at home moms. Why should you. This is a simple point to answer to because feminism is about equality and getting to do what you want, every person should have a choice. So if a woman chooses to stay at home, that’s her right, it’s what she chooses, it’s her life.

Feminists are all angry and aggressive:

To be fair the only time I get angry is when people show me these kind of stereotypes. When it comes to everything else I’d like to think that there are always reasonable arguments for feminism to bring across your point. Also people get angry because it can be frustrating having to say the same thing over and over again because you are not being taken seriously, but no we are not all angry and throw darts at pictures of men we hate, we don’t hold secret voodoo rituals and again we are not sitting in a corner being bitter about no one loving us.

All feminists believe in the same thing

Sorry again, feminism isn’t that simple. Like a lot of issues it has been going on for quite a while and as in everything that is becoming a huge thing there are different groups within feminism that believe in different things. I looked into my notes from my one semester of sociology to find the scientific terms for the four main groups again (who knew keeping them would actually make sense at some point). So the four main groups that are being analysed are liberal, socialist, cultural and racial feminism. All very different, but that doesn’t matter because all people supporting this are feminists!

All feminists are women:

Yes that makes perfect sense. Because as I said before feminism is simply about women’s rights and  has absolutely nothing to do with equality at all. All sarcasm aside: Feminism is about getting equality, so that everyone can do whatever they want. Just look at the teaching and caring jobs, you get more women because it somehow has become a female job. I have a male friend who got told by his father to study engineering instead of becming a kindergarten teacher because it was more acceptable. And feminism is tackling about this too. And just look at all the men supporting HE for SHE. They are all feminists and they are male. Some celebrity examples are Douglas Booth, Joseph Gordon- Levitt, Kiefer Sunderland and so many more who have stepped up to demonstrate their support for gender equality.

So basically what I am trying to say is that feminism is not what many people who criticise it think it is. It is about empowering, equality and a society where no person has to face the stereotypes of his or her gender! There is no typical feminist and there is no right way to be a feminist. There is only being you and you believing that you have the same rights as everyone else. What is an important thing to say is that there are no excuse to not be a feminist because even if you leave all your believes aside of what is right and wrong, if we have an empowered youth that is not constraint by social constructs we have the best potential to create a world that is better and fairer than it is now.

Also if you want to read about feminism in a fictional context, go check out Holly Bourne’s book series called the Spinster Club. I absolutely loved it and I am currently sturggling to walk around and not shout “That is sexist!” at People.
Check out Holly Bourne!

Let us know which stereotype annoys you most about stereotypes against feminism and if you have read Holly Bourne’s book at @castaway_minds on Twitter.