as you might know I consider myself a big feminist , so I absolutely loooooove this theme week. Not only because I finally know what to write about.
You decided to be a feminist ? Great choice you’re defintely doing the right thing. Now get ready for being annoyed, ridiculed and given weird looks everywhere you go. I once read something which I think describes getting into feminism pretty well. It’s like learning how to drive . Before you learn to drive you’re just sitting in the car minding you’re own business, not caring or even looking what’s going on on the road. Once you start doing you’re driving license, you notice all These pricks on the road breaking the rules and driving like 5 year olds on bobbycars. Same for feminism : once you know what it’s about you can’t unsee all the injustice in a daily life.
That kind of thing happened to me. I didn’t suddenly decide to be a feminist, it wasn’t like Alice Schwarzer appeared in one of my dreams, burned all my bras and screamed “I choose you, Alli, join the dark side” ( Even though that would have been pretty cool). I was much more raised into being a feminist. My mother never dressed me in all pink or told me I can’t do certain things, because it’s not ladylike. She told me jokes about men and when 7year old me stated I’d rather want to be a boy, because they’re stronger and braver, she explained to me that wasn’t true and I could be all that while being a girl. I was raised to accept transsexuals and homosexuals and taught they were just like everyone else. I kind of grew up being a feminist without even realizing it. What I wasn’t aware of back then , is that they’re also bad drivers out there. I realized that when I got into social media and read all these things about feminism. That was when I decided the thing that came to me naturally was something I wanted to stand up for.
But enough of me. Once you start being a feminist, there are so many challenges you have to face. I’m not even going to go into detail about getting pissed off, by family members , friends, strangers , teachers , politicians etc etc every 5 minutes. Once you face sexist comments you have two possibilities. One : You swallow it. Again and again and again. And again. At some point you’ll think you’re going to burst, from all the rants and comebacks you didn’t let out. So that leaves you to possibility number two: Call them out ! This sounds easier than it is. You’ll never be able to actually think of a good comeback or a good way to explain to people why what they said was wrong. And even if you manage to say something reasonable, most people will refuse to try and understand your point, they’ll give you dirty looks, groan, roll their eyes and make fun of you. Or even better start useless discussions why you are wrong and “not all men” “well that might be your opinion but” and come up with reasons why you’re wrong that don’t have anythimg to do with what you just said. Also there are people you might find harder to call out than others. I mean honestly I don’t think most people wouldn’t mind to finally call out their racist Uncle Norbert on his bullshit. But what if it’s your crush ? Or a friend you just made ? I actually called out my crush on being sexist the other day and guess what he’s still talking to me. I also called out my best friend before, because used the word sl*t and I told her I don’t like that word and why. And we’re still friends. Even though you might find it hard to criticise the people you like, it probably won’t and as bad as you might think it will, so you should totally do it. Once they’re used to it, everyone will immediately look at you if someone says something sexist and be like do you not want to say anything ? Guess what sometimes I don’t want to say something because it might not be the appropriate moment to start a discussion or because we gave up on educating a certain person ages ago. Sometimes it would make more sense to talk to a wall, so I stop trying. Sometimes we even realize it was just a joke. Because guess what if it’s not disrespecting anyone’s existence feminists are able to take a joke. So yeah once people realize what things piss you off because you’re a feminist there are two possible outcomes: they provoke you and start discussing with you on every single occasionjust because they think it’s funny. That’s the more likely one . Or if you’re lucky they avoid certain comments when they’re around you or apologize for them. It makes you feel a little happy that you might actually have changed something, even though you can’t be sure they’re not just trying to avoid upsetting you and don’t really think about why it’s offensive. Yes there are lots of annoying aspects about being a feminist and you can get sick of constantly feeling like you’re pissing people off. Nut still it’s necessary. I’d rather people get annoyed at me than staying quiet about the things in our society that are the reason I even have to be annoying and talk about them. There aren’t only bad things though . Being a feminist gave me so much and helped me grow as a person. It made me feel better about myself, gave me confidence, body positivity and made me realize my own worth. It might seem exhausting sometimes but you get so much back and also stand up for something important.
Yeah that was my little view inside the life of a feminist. Feel free to share your experiences on our twitter @castaway_minds.
have a lovely day