Future

Have you ever laid in bed late at night and wondered how your life will be in the future? Well, I most certainly have done that a few occasions in my life of 21 years. Am I successful in my job? What will I work as? Whom am I working for? Will I have a husband? Even kids? When will I get married? When will I have kids? Am I still friends with my current friends? What are my parents and siblings doing?

An endless list of questions that float around my head and the sad thing about it is that I’ll never get the answer to them no matter for how long I’m staying awake.

Today is one of those days. I’ve just had a very, let me say, unsuccessful meeting with a professor of mine because of a project I need to do for Uni and it makes me wonder is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life and what will my future look like?

Surely I could write a list of motivational quotes that I assume most of you already know like, ‘If you can dream it, you can do it’ or ‘Live your dreams’. We all know them too well, but to be honest with you, I’m not gonna say that. I’m a believer in that if you want something you have to work for it. Of course there are some times were it is extremely hard and you think you’re not going to make it but once you achieved the things you worked for it’s the best feeling in the world. Sadly I’m not a witch, visionary or anything alongside that, but I think one of the magical things in life is that you never know what’s coming next. Am I going to be successful in my job later? Who knows but do I really want to know? Am I going to meet my future husband next weekend on the party I’m intending to go to? I don’t know, but honestly I don’t want to know. Because then I had to freak out what I should wear, what I should do with my hair and make-up and constantly checking if I look good and that I say something very clever or make him laugh. You see, way too much pressure.

I don’t know what my future holds and I can’t answer the questions I would like to know, however I’m glad I can not. Cause this way I can live my life, enjoy the moments and the little things and also make mistakes that I might regret but I also can learn from.

Don’t stress yourself about what the future will look like, because no matter how hard you try, you’ll never know. Why stressing about it so much then? I work for it, so that it might look like how I picture it, however I’m glad I don’t know how it will look like.

Jenny x.

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