To the guy who can fuck himself

Today is one of them days that started off good but then an event happened and all you want to do is go to your bed, have a good cry, eat a shit ton of ice cream and then eventually fall asleep whilst watching a sad film and crying.

Some people might say that it is pathetic why I’m down all of the sudden but today happened something that happens to me quite frequently and something that is about something that I’m not happy about about my body.

Let me explain what happened:

So I had a group meeting with two of my friends for Uni. Whilst walking back from it with Maren (I have mentioned her before here, she’s like my best friend at Uni), we past some traffic lights. I think at this point we weren’t talking but I was just thinking about something that I had to do or we were just talking about. When some guy shouted out something out of a car window. Because I was deep in my thoughts I didn’t catch what he was saying, I only heard that Maren answered something inappropriate/rude. So I asked what he was just saying whilst they drove away. She told me that he just shouted out of the window: You’re fat.

Since they shouted it to us, it’s clear that he meant me. Because let’s face it, I’m not really skinny or thin and have quite a few pounds too much on me. He definitely didn’t mean Maren because she has a great physique and is very toned.

After this happened we popped to the food shop very quickly to get some stuff but it was weird. Like there was a weird feeling in the air after it happened, or at least I felt so.

On the one hand I hate myself for not catching what he was saying because I would have liked to say something back like: Better fat than ugly, or something like that.

But on the other hand, who the fuck gave this guy the right to shout something like this to a girl on the street you’ve never met in your life before? Have you ever thought that this person might have feelings and you can hurt someone by saying such nasty things?

As I said before being called fat or ugly isn’t the first time for me (here’s another example when I wrote about another twat calling me out being too fat (The one time I met an absolute twat), but it never happened in such a rude way. And I also know that something like this shouldn’t get to me because let’s face it the guy who shouted it was just an absolute twat and honestly I’m usually a very polite person and only want the best for everybody, but believe me when I say I don’t care if he would just break his leg or so. In fact that would be karma and the right thing to happen to him. Although I know that, it still got to me.

Like has he ever thought about that the person he just called out because of their weight might have some serious health problems? Like no matter what it is. So many people struggle with their weight because of health reasons, so no fucking person has the right to call someone else out because of their appearance. No matter if it is because they are very thin or because they are bigger. He clearly hasn’t thought about the fact that someone might have something like hypothyroidism or other medical conditions. A person might want to look thin but simply can’t because of a condition they have.

On the other hand someone could have a serious mental problem concerning their body. There are serious mental illnesses that a lot of people have, like bulimia, anorexia, obesity or in general all kind of eating disorders. Clearly a person like him has no fucking idea what such a nasty comment like his can do to the person he just shouted it to.

And normally that’s something I don’t talk about and only one of my friends knows about it but in fact I have had eating disorders in the past. To the point where I still have to track my food, just to make sure that I eat the right amount of things. I had to track my food for 4 or 5 years now and I have so many journals I have written and hid before. Like non of my friends or my family knows about this. Only my doctor. And I guess you now…

This guy and so many other people don’t have a fucking idea what the hell is going on in this peoples life so nor he or anybody else has a right to say a fucking thing about how anybody but himself/herself looks like.

Although I know all of these things it still messes with my head. It messes up with my head that much that I’m sitting here spending too much time thinking about what happened today and writing this blog post. When in fact he should be not even worth a second of my life. And it definitely didn’t help with the way I ate the rest of the day then and the next few days.

Always think about what you say to others. Such a small sentence can have an enormous impact on someone’s life without you even knowing it.

Lots of love,

Jenny

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Girls dress for themselves

Heyy people 🙂

First of all I’m sorry for being absent for that long, I had severe writers block and was busy with uni stuff. Buuut here I am trying to be more on this blog again. So I hope you forgive me.

This post is about an issue I see to be confronted with quite often and which has always been bothering me. It’s the fact that a lot of males seem to believe that girls dress/wear make up to please them and to be liked by them. I know, I know the moral  should slowly become clear towards the end of a post but as I want to be very clear about this I’m just going to state it right at the beginning: We generally don’t. Dear boys I’m very sorry to disappoint you, but not every thing a girl does is about you. Shocking I know. Sit down a minute. Breathe. Have a sip of water. And then get of that fucking high horse.

You might wonder what caused me being so angry about that so I will share my personal experiences with that topic. Today I saw this social media post that was like : “oh yes she’s wearing red nailpolish now I want to hit on her….Said no guy ever”. As I couldn’t just swallow that I commented “Cute that guys still believe everything girls do is for them”. Someone actually answered me that In the end it actually is. I was furious. As if I wore nailpolish for random guys who a) probably don’t even notice it, because honestly I don’t think when you meet a girl, the first thing you look at are her nails and b) don’t even know a difference between scarlet and rose. So yeah probably fucking not. As you might already assume there are reasons this post made me so angry. As a girl you’re always told not to wear that much make up, or don’t wear your hair short, or don’t dress a certain way because “boys don’t like that”. On the other hand having certain characteristics are good because boys it. Sometimes when I had issues with my body not being super skinny even my Mum told me that it was okay “because men like women with curves”. It was also fine, that I have small breasts, as there are men who’s type I am like that. I never thought much about that until I became a feminist. One day after that I clarified that I didn’t give a damn what men think about my body because the only think that counts is what I think about it. I don’t need and will never need  approval for any parts of my body of any guy who has nothing to do with them. My mum looked at me surprised, but she understood. Not everyone seems to get that unfortunately. I dated a guy who used to tell me I would look better with shorter hair and explained to me in detail what kind of clothes I should wear to make myself more attractive to him and guys in general. It went so far he once told me, that I was lucky to be the height I am, because if I was taller less guys would want me. When I told him that I didn’t think it was my purpose on this earth to meet any guys expectations, he just stuck with his point and didn’t take me serious. I know that not all guys are like that, but I was honestly shocked and a bit disappointed in the male gender. That were the most remarkable moments I had with that issue, there were some more, but I think you understand why this post upset me so much. Of course I have to admit there are cases when girls dress up for boys. When you dress up for a date and wonder which dress he’d like on you. When you wear a certain jumper when you see your boyfriend, because you know he likes it and you make an effort to look pretty for him. When you have a  crush and you want him to notice you so you wear a flattering outfit. But seriously I don’t believe any girl gets up in the morning thinking “well what could I wear today what the boys out there would like” And nobody wears make up for a person who doesn’t even notice what you have in your face. Even in the cases where you could say girls dress up for guys, we always choose the things we feel pretty in and confident and like the best version of ourselves. So in reality it’s about that. We wear the things we feel good in and the things we like and we wear make up or don’t wear it because that’s the way we want to express yourself and feel like the motherfucking queens we are. And yes that has to do with how other people perceive us and of course it makes us feel good to hear compliments, but in the end it’s about us feeling comfortable in our skin. So boys if you ever think a girl chose that top with the big cleavage for your pleasure or is wearing those heels just so you think she’s sexy you’re probably wrong (and a self absorbed prick). She’s doing it because she knows she slays and SHE feels sexy in those clothes. And remember that ‘s all that matters. We don’t need your opinion on our bodies or style, so if we don’t ask please keep it to yourselves. And girls: Keep doing you. Don’t listen to men telling you what you should do and how you should look. Same for other women. You’re not living for anyone but yourself and you don’t need anyone’s approval for your personal choices.

That was my rant I hope you liked it. 🙂

Talk to you soon

Love Ally

How to procrastinate like a pro

Hello lovely people,

today is my turn again and since I’m a bit in a studying stress I though I write about the reason why I am in a stress: my best friend, procrastination!

I would consider myself as an absolute pro at procrastinate so I thought I share my knowledge with all of you and I can feel a bit less bad about myself! 🙂

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Tip number 1: YouTube

My best/worst thing I always do is spend hours on YouTube instead of actually revising. I mean watching all ThatcherJoe main channel videos and vlogs is something very important in life, right?! Finding new YouTuber which I obviously have to stalk first and then subscribe to and watch every single video of them or they appeared in. These are the essentials in life and make a great impression in my CV! Not everybody can write in their CV: Special Skills: Knowing every single YouTube video off by heart. My future boss must be impressed by that and ignore my bad grades, right?!

Tip number 2: Cleaning

When I started revising for my A-Levels back in the days, or now in University everybody always said that cleaning is becoming your best friend. I personally never was this person. I much rather laid in bed watching YouTube videos but this changed this semester. I was swept away by the hype. Somehow cleaning seemed very appealing and boy, my room was never as clean as it is at the moment.

Tip number 3: Baking

As you might know I’m a big lover of baking and this continued this semester. Learning or baking cookies for my girl night-in later in the evening? Baking a birthday cake or revising for my exam in 4 days, I guess the answer is clear… 😀 I mean I did something for my friends, right? It wasn’t wasting time at all, right? 😀

Tip number 4: Have a lay-in

I don’t know when you can study the best, but I definitely can in the morning between breakfast and lunch. So having a lay-in and only be able to study for like 2 hours before you actually make some food which is basically your lunch and then being absolutely unmotivated is a super tip. You definitely should try it, I can only recommend it!

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Tip number 5: Learning cards

Spend your time wisely for studying and make some studying cards is a good thing, right? Well, not if you waste your time writing them and then basically have no time anymore to actually learn them. Yeah sure you keep some things by just writing them but when you write your exam and have to know all the in-depth information in order to pass your exam just writing your cards isn’t helping really. But heyho, you can say you studied and it wasn’t your fault, right?

Tip number 6: Online shopping

What better then looking online for absolute unnecessary clothes, shoes, make-up, handbags, beddings and all kind of other stuff? I guess, if you actually should do other things there is something better then online shopping. I know this is shocking news but sadly also very true.

Tip number 7: Daydream

Once again one of my favs. Just sit in front of your papers, stare at them and imagine how life would be if your (celebrity) crush would actually know you or how life would be if you’re already finished University and you’re an independent, successful women in your job. Definitely is going to help you in your exams.

Tip number 8: Making lists

I’m an absolute sucker for notebooks and lists and I probably make more lists then Michael Clifford changes his hair. So starting a new list instead of studying is a brilliant idea. What about ‘What I should do during my holidays’ or sort out all your family and friend’s birthday and Christmas presents till 2030. Sounds like a magnificent plan to me.

 

Tip number 9: Make study breaks

Everyone needs study breaks, so you definitely should do them regularly. The only bad thing is if your breaks take like 2 hours but you only study for like an hour. You see the problem? Not really efficient but you can be annoyed at yourself soon enough. More specific the day before your exam when you ask yourself why on earth you’re so stupid and you do all the things mentioned above.

Tip number 10: Be annoyed

As I just mentioned there is this one time were you ask yourself why you have done all the things above and you get super annoyed at yourself. What you only realise right before bed is that once again you wasted a day by being annoyed at yourself or you tell yourself that now there’s no point in starting revising properly anyways.

These are my 10 top tips in how to become a top procrastinater. You only have to follow these steps and I’m sure you’re as good as me in no time.

But in all seriousness, don’t procrastinate! It’s stupid and only effects your marks, in which you could be so much better if you actually would stick to your studying-plan. So don’t procrastinate kids!!!

I’m off, trying to get as much information as possible in my little head last minute because somehow I need to remember 34 written pages (on computer) on Wednesday morning and so far I’m able of around 13. So wish me luck and that I don’t procrastinate as much anymore.

Lots of love,

Jenny xxx

 

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