To the guy who can fuck himself

Today is one of them days that started off good but then an event happened and all you want to do is go to your bed, have a good cry, eat a shit ton of ice cream and then eventually fall asleep whilst watching a sad film and crying.

Some people might say that it is pathetic why I’m down all of the sudden but today happened something that happens to me quite frequently and something that is about something that I’m not happy about about my body.

Let me explain what happened:

So I had a group meeting with two of my friends for Uni. Whilst walking back from it with Maren (I have mentioned her before here, she’s like my best friend at Uni), we past some traffic lights. I think at this point we weren’t talking but I was just thinking about something that I had to do or we were just talking about. When some guy shouted out something out of a car window. Because I was deep in my thoughts I didn’t catch what he was saying, I only heard that Maren answered something inappropriate/rude. So I asked what he was just saying whilst they drove away. She told me that he just shouted out of the window: You’re fat.

Since they shouted it to us, it’s clear that he meant me. Because let’s face it, I’m not really skinny or thin and have quite a few pounds too much on me. He definitely didn’t mean Maren because she has a great physique and is very toned.

After this happened we popped to the food shop very quickly to get some stuff but it was weird. Like there was a weird feeling in the air after it happened, or at least I felt so.

On the one hand I hate myself for not catching what he was saying because I would have liked to say something back like: Better fat than ugly, or something like that.

But on the other hand, who the fuck gave this guy the right to shout something like this to a girl on the street you’ve never met in your life before? Have you ever thought that this person might have feelings and you can hurt someone by saying such nasty things?

As I said before being called fat or ugly isn’t the first time for me (here’s another example when I wrote about another twat calling me out being too fat (The one time I met an absolute twat), but it never happened in such a rude way. And I also know that something like this shouldn’t get to me because let’s face it the guy who shouted it was just an absolute twat and honestly I’m usually a very polite person and only want the best for everybody, but believe me when I say I don’t care if he would just break his leg or so. In fact that would be karma and the right thing to happen to him. Although I know that, it still got to me.

Like has he ever thought about that the person he just called out because of their weight might have some serious health problems? Like no matter what it is. So many people struggle with their weight because of health reasons, so no fucking person has the right to call someone else out because of their appearance. No matter if it is because they are very thin or because they are bigger. He clearly hasn’t thought about the fact that someone might have something like hypothyroidism or other medical conditions. A person might want to look thin but simply can’t because of a condition they have.

On the other hand someone could have a serious mental problem concerning their body. There are serious mental illnesses that a lot of people have, like bulimia, anorexia, obesity or in general all kind of eating disorders. Clearly a person like him has no fucking idea what such a nasty comment like his can do to the person he just shouted it to.

And normally that’s something I don’t talk about and only one of my friends knows about it but in fact I have had eating disorders in the past. To the point where I still have to track my food, just to make sure that I eat the right amount of things. I had to track my food for 4 or 5 years now and I have so many journals I have written and hid before. Like non of my friends or my family knows about this. Only my doctor. And I guess you now…

This guy and so many other people don’t have a fucking idea what the hell is going on in this peoples life so nor he or anybody else has a right to say a fucking thing about how anybody but himself/herself looks like.

Although I know all of these things it still messes with my head. It messes up with my head that much that I’m sitting here spending too much time thinking about what happened today and writing this blog post. When in fact he should be not even worth a second of my life. And it definitely didn’t help with the way I ate the rest of the day then and the next few days.

Always think about what you say to others. Such a small sentence can have an enormous impact on someone’s life without you even knowing it.

Lots of love,

Jenny

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10 Things About Peru

Hey everyone, 

I am sorry that it is once again a post about my stay in Peru but as it is currently all I am doing, it is constantly on my mind. As it has not been that long since I got here I thought I would write 10 things that stood out to me, that I find strange, that seem typically Peruvian or in some other way stood out.

1. It is winter here but during the day we have 25 degrees Celsius. Like I am so busy rubbing sun lotion on 24/7 cause it is so warm and it’s supposed to be winter. The only thing giving that away is that there is snow on the mountains. But that’s about it. 

2. There are so many stray dogs and I want them all. It doesn’t matter where in Arequipa you walk around you can see them everywhere. In travel warnings you are advised to stay away from them because of rabies, but most of them seem friendly and don’t even come close to humans. But I made a friend a. The bus st before. That dog came up to me and sat next to me and kept stubbing me with his nose as to say ‘please give me attention.’ Sadly our bus came before I could give him attention.

3. The combi busses. Basically every the busses here are about the size of how a 9 seater in Europe or the US. However, here they have the drives row, and then 5 additional rows and the most I have been in with was 25. It sounds crammed and horrific, but it is not that bad. Also they always play music in the bus and being on there has quite a cool vibe, plus it makes you feel like you belong. 

4. I stand out. I am 5’8″ (1.73m) which makes me about a head taller than the average Peruvian I have encountered here. I am white. Yes, there are other tourists but not that many that you would not stand out with white skin. I have gingery, curly hair. Also in a sea full of dark brown to black hair that stands out. Not being used to it, it is really weird that people look at you just when you walk through the streets. But it also has its perk. For example a little girl pointed at me the other day and said “Bonita señorita” which totally made my day. 

5. As I have only been to Arequipa I can only talk about this city it everything here is remarkably clean. Honestly the streets are slippery because they are so clean and polished. Considering as well that there are stray dogs everywhere I find it incredible how well kept the city is. 

6. If the houses here are not old colonial buildings and are impressive churches or official buildings, the houses are all so colourful. You name it orange, yellow, pink, red, light blue, purple, mint green, I have seen it all and it makes it all the more beautiful and colourful.

7. They don’t seem to have hallways inside. In the hostel and the home where I work, as well as in buildings that I walk past the stairwells and hallways are all out in the open. Granted it doesn’t rain here a lot especially at the moment so it makes sense, but for someone who is not used to it it definitely stands out. 

8. Most of the cars here would probably not be allowed on the streets anywhere in Europe or North America. First of all because of emissions. Like seriously so many emissions and it smells like it. But secondly most of the cars are so old and would under no circumstances fall under safety regulations. Like the taxis don’t really have seat belts. Many are missing mirrors and so on. But oh well. You kinda get used to it. 

9. One thing that I have noticed is that currently despite it being warm no one is really wearing shorts or short skirts or dresses. Considering that it is over 20 degrees it strikes me as odd. Considering that it is winter for them it seems fair. I have to say it is quite nice not having people nag me for wearing black jeans while it is really warm out cause everyone else does it to! 

10. The advertising and menus of most restaurants even if they are like a good quality look like the advertising of fast food restaurants or takeaways like kebab shops or chippys. They all have big pictures of their foods and it just looks cheap and makes you a bit sceptical. But we have been to some and they are actually quite good! 
Anyways I hope you enjoy this! 
Lots of love, 

Katie 

My first week in Peru

My first week in Peru is now over and it has already gotten to the weird stage where it feels like I just got here but also like I have been here forever. I finally got over the jetlag, I am slowly getting over the altitude and I am starting to have a daily routine. Arequipa makes it easy though to start to feel at home. While some things are certainly very different, Arequipa’s European routes are inside and it is overall a really modern city. Arequipa is after Altima the second biggest city in Peru and I is in the middle of the Amdes at about 2,500m above sea level. 

In to picture you can see the Plaza de Armas which is like the main square of Arequipa at least when it comes to tourist attractions and the old part of the city. There are many restaurant, shops, sights and tourist agencies areound it and of course the basilica that you can see in the picture. It is impressive from the outside and absolutely gorgeous from the inside. I went there for a service as it is a huge part of the Peruvian culture and it was definitely worth it!

Overall I have already discovered that there are many churches all across Arequipa as it seems to be a huge part of the life here. 

Another thing that there is a lot of at the Plaza de Armas and all over the city and which can seems to be a huge part of the culture are the stray dog so! Honestly there are so many and I just want to take all of them home and make sure that they are all okay!

More animals that I was already excited about before coming here were the llama and alpacas and when I found out that there is a far, for them really close with no entry it was no question that I would show up there. It was a maxing we got to feed them, but sadly they didn’t like to be petted. However, my mission while being here is to visit them often enough to make them trust me and let me pet them. I mean look at them they are so cute and gorgeous and amazing!!!

However, due to my jetlag that is about the exploring I have done in week one. Though I am hoping to do more this weekend here in Arequipa. 

But now onto the reason I am actually here for, which is the volunteering. I am working in a girls home and my main task is to play with them, help the with their homework, and to be there for them. the girls in the house are between 3 and 18 years old though everyone over 14 is in school while we are there. Which leaves us more time for the little ones who need the support more. 

The other volunteer and I were both surprised, both by the good condition of the house and how loving and trusting the girls were. As most of them have some history of being mistreated we assumed it would take them time to warm up to us, yet we were greeted with hugs and were pulled around the place by our hands three kids on one arm, as they all wanted to show it to us. 

They call us ‘hermana’ sister, which is very cute. The favorite thing of the young ones to do is to use me as a climbing frame or me to spin them around. they love playing with my hair because it is so different to what they are used to.

I also brought a frisbee and some of the girls are super keen to play with it and even the little ones are trying to get involved although the frisbee is about a third of their height. But it is amazing to see that they are that interested in it and want to learn. 

As my Spanish sadly currently still is horrible it is quite overwhelming at times to try to talk to all the girls and my brain is starting to develop the habit of mixing all languages I know together which makes it hard to communicate. but I can already see slight improved ties and being around the girls A lot of the vocabulary I learned is coming back and I am hoping for my Spanish to really improve over the next couple of weeks. 

Hopefully going got a frisbee training here will help too! One of the girls, who is about my age and works at the home full time, asked me if I want to join her team on Sunday and while I am extremely nervous about the language, Iam excited to meet Peruvians hopefully my age and to have some fun! 
I’ll update you on my journey next week!

 Lots of love, Katie
Instagram: @katfeyer for more pictures 

Favourite Beautiful Music Videos

So I am someone who is very easily addicted to an artist and when I find someone I will watch every single music video listen to every single song that I can find somewhere on the internet. Recently, I have found a couple of music videos that I love, so I thought I would make a list of those that I love, both of artists/ videos that I recently discovered and some that I have liked for a while/ages. So enjoy!

1. Alessia Cara- Scars To Your Beautiful

The first time I heard about this song was by being stuck in a YouTube spiral and somehow came across a live performance of this song. I immediately fell in love with it and since then have been listening to Alessia’s music so much. Her other videos are great as well, but this one stuck out to be due to the involvement of the stories of random people who have external and internal pressure to look or be a certain way. It is a beautiful video and makes you want to go up to everyone you know and tell them that it’s okay and that they are beautiful.

2. Marianas Trench- Who Do You Love

My all time favourite band and one of my favourite songs, so there wasn’t much that it needed to make it one of my favourite  music videos of all time. And they did it beautifully. The video is basically them spending time with their loved ones and them donating the money they would usually use on a music video to good causes. It is beautiful and made me cry, ’cause it is just very touching. Also there is like loads of puppies in it and what else do you really need in a video. This video just makes you want to go out and do something good in the world and hug the people that you love (I start to recognise a theme…)Phit.

3. Ed Sheeran – Photograph

Photograph is a song that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It is one of my favourite songs and I have previously said that I’d be more than okay with this being my wedding dance song, because it is just so beautiful. When the vide0 came out I remember vividly how I had goosebumps and I watched it about 5 times in a row and forced my mom to watch it with me (tbh I don’t think she minded it too much). But it is such a beautiful concept with the footage of Ed Sheeran as a child and I absolutely fell in love with the video!

4. All Time Low – Missing You

The idea of the band skyping fans and talking to them about their relationship to the band and what the community that comes along with being a fan of a band and how music can connect and can help you get through things is a very touching and amazing idea. I personally can relate to a lot of the things that the fans say in the video, for example meeting friends through bands and finding comfort in music when you are going through a tough time. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I love this video so much. I mean, again, this video is also in here because I love the song and the lyrics are well written and the song shares the important message that there is always someone around who cares no matter how bad you may feel. Plus it was filmed in London and I love London. 🙂

5. AS IT IS – Hey Rachel

 

The song itself is very emotional as lead singer Patty Walters wrote it as an apology to his sister who struggled with depression and anxiety. The video is beautifully capturing the emotions of the song and is doing it more than justice. To me that is amazing because when you have this beautiful, personal and emotional song, to achieve to create a music video that matches it, is not always something that is easy. Therefore, a huge well done to AS IT IS!

There you go. Enjoy! Don’t get too emotional.

Lots of love,

Katie

 

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Current favourite songs

I thought it would be time that I present you guys my current fav songs, again. Not sure if you guys are actually liking it but music is very important to me, so I enjoy writing these things. And especially with the latest event in Manchester I think that music is even more important than ever to remind us about how music can make us all stronger together and that we can all spread love!

 

Most girls – Hailee Steinfeld

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Okay, this song… Honestly, I freaking love this song. What I love about this song? Basically everything! I absolutely love the message behind this song. In case you haven’t heard this song or you haven’t listen to the lyrics yet, I can only advise you to do so. As the queen Hailee is, she basically describes that every single girl is a damn boss no matter of their physique and how they dress. Love the body positivity and the good message behind it that you can look at other girls and not tear them down, rather get inspired by them and try to be a strong, beautiful and fierce girl yourself!

 

I Have Questions & Crying In The Club – Camila Cabello

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I never was a Harmonizer, but always quite enjoyed their music. So when Camila left the group it didn’t really bother me at all, tbh. But listening to her first solo songs I can only say that I absolutely love these songs. Just to make clear, I don’t take any sides of Harmonizers or Camila fans and I don’t try to get involved in any drama that is going on there. I just can say that I absolutely love her songs. I really like the beat of both and I think especially with Crying In The Club it has a really recognizing sound and every time I hear it I just want to get up and dance. With I Have Questions I think that everybody who had to go through a breakup can incredibly good relate to the lyrics. I think that when you separate these are the questions you ask yourself. And again I just really like the beat and everything music-wise in this song as well.

 

Despacito & I’m The One – Justin Bieber

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If you know me then you’ll know that I was a very big Belieber when I was younger. Nowadays I enjoy some of his new songs but I’m not such a crazy fangirl anymore. But I have to say these two songs are just amazing. The first time I listened to Despacito I fell in love with this song. It truly is the perfect summer song and let’s be real Justin’s voice in it is just incredible and hearing him sing in Spanish let’s my little fangirl heart beat faster. Same with I’m The One, despite the Spanish part obviously. If you haven’t heard these two songs yet, all I can ask you is: Where the hell have you been? Go to Spotify, listen to these songs and tell me you didn’t want to instantly start dancing in your room or at least sit at the beach with a cocktail in your hand?!

 

Strip That Down – Liam Payne

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See, I’m a Directioner, in fact I even have been to two concerts of them before, so when I got the news about that they split up I can’t deny that my heart was a bit heart broken. But when I first heard This Town/Slow hands by Niall, then Harry’s new songs/ album and now Liam songs I can’t deny that I absolutely love every single one. Liam went down more the R&B root and I must say I really enjoy his new music. Obviously it’s quite different to what 1D used to release but nevertheless I love it. And as much as I would like them to join as a group again, I love their solo things as much as their music as a group.

 

Bad Liar – Selena Gomez

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Okay, is there actually one thing that this lovely lady can’t do? Once again she just released an absolute hit. I must say that it actually took me a bit time to loving this song but now I’m all about the vibe of the song. I have to say that it has a very specific sound, also with how she sings but I love this vibe, but I can imagine that it isn’t everybody’s cup of tea. This doesn’t mean though that I wouldn’t recommend you listening to the song, I definitely do recommend it. But I would say listen to it at least 2 – 3 times before you can decide for yourself if you like this song or not!

First Time – Kygo & Ellie Goulding

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This song is bloody everywhere and I have to admit I don’t mind that at all. As always Ellies vocals are killing it on this song and actually I would love to hear this song live, I bet with you she would perform it even better than on the track (if this is even possible). Once again it’s an amazing summer song and I can’t wait to lie in the sun with this song on, like is there any way to get in a better mood?

There’s Nothing Holding Me Back – Shawn Mendes

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I know, I know this song is out for quite a bit now, but this doesn’t change the fact that I absolutely bloody love this song. Okay, this also has to do with the fact that I recently saw Shawn live and I’m absolutely in love with his voice and his performance skills. But honestly, just listen to this song and tell me his vocals aren’t killing it?! This guy is so bloody talented that there was no way for me not to mention this song.

 

Lot’s of love,

Jenny xxx.