Hey my dear readers,
I don’t know how old you all are, but I’m in the beginning of my twenties and yeah … just as you thought you’ve survived high school and puberty and now life really begins and it can only gets easier…well it doesn’t. I mean congratulations to having survived that hard part of your life I’m honestly very proud of you, but there are new challenges and problems waiting and they’ll leave you just as confused and scared as before. At the beginning of this post I want you to know that it’s completely normal to have those fears and nothing to be ashamed of. Even the people who seem like they’re in total control of their life and everything is going great for them struggle with things. You are not alone.
1.”I don’t think I’m doing well enough at my courses”
Uni or School can be a hell of a lot of work sometimes. But I’m sure you’re doing great. Remember to recognize your hard work and treat yourself once in a while. For example have Pizza with your friends after a long study session If you really struggle with your coursework ask for help. Nobody will mind to sit down with you for an hour to explain stuff for the exam for you or read through your essay. Maybe study together, things are often easier to understand when you talk about them. If you’re struggling so hard you’re questioning if it’s the right for you, you should seek advice and go to study councelling. Realizing your course is just not for and switching after a few Semesters is nothing to be ashamed of. It might be frightening sometimes because everyone around you seems to be super bright and dealing well. I just want you to know you’re bright, too, and not understanding or being good at something doesn’t mean you’re not doing great.
2. “I’m scared I won’t get a job”
That’s a big fear of mine as well. Everyone seems to have a side job, is doing better at Uni, has the next 5 internships planned, has interesting hobbies and volunteers. And my talents include eating and watching netflix. The thing is : you still have time. You can still start doing internships or start looking for a Little job, that looks good in your resumee. Also that’s not the only thing employers look at. It often makes you interesting when you’ve spent some time abroad. An other essential thing is just to present yourself in a good way and be polite confident and good at talking. It’s okay when you haven’t worked and done internships since you’ve been 5 years old. Of course you won’t immediatly start in your dream job, but later you have time to work your way up.
3. “I’m scared I can’t get control of my life”
You don’t have any clean clothes left, you only dare to enter your bathroom with a gas mask on and you’ve lived of pasta with a ketchup the last three days? That’s fine. Nobody expects you to move out and immediately be super organized and great at living alone. And of course there isn’t much time, as you’re also trying to get course work done and have social relations. Just do one step after an other. Set a fix day for house work for example. Also there is no shame in calling your mum or dad and ask if you Need to know, how to do something. To get more organized it’s always good to write things down. Get a calender where you write down deadlines and appointments and write to do lists. You’ll get behind stuff with time.
4. “I’m scared I’ll end up alone”
Still single, haven’t had a date in like a year and every guy basically has run away from you after the second date. No change in sight ? That’s okay. I get that it’s sometimes frustrating to see all the happy couples while you’re alone with nobody to cuddle.But concentrate on yourself , your friends, your career and just living. Being single can be a wonderful thing, you can find out and experiment with who you are. You cantravel and meet lot’s of people and have more time for Hobbies. The love of your life will find you early enough and never let you go. So don’t give up. If you’re really keen on finding a Partner, maybe try new clubs or sports, or dating apps.
5. “I’m afraid to lose my friends”
After school you’ll all go different ways, that’s normal. You all have a different lives, meet new people and develop differently. At some Point you’ll realize how you all have changed so it doesn’t really fit anymore. The harsh truth is: you probably won’t stay friends with most of the people from school. But on the bright side you’ll meet new wonderful people you can have great friendships with. And the true friends will always stay.
6. “I’m afraid I’m missing out on something”
Yep I agree the twenties is the time to slowly grow up a bit. That doesn’t mean you have missed out on the thousand things you haven’t done when you were a teenager. You can still do stupid shit ( and it’s even legal now as Long as you don’t exaggerate it)). It’s never too late to be a child . And groeing up doesn’t mean your life Ends. You still have years and years to travel, to go to concerts, to learn new things. You don’t have to do all of it while you’re Young.
So I just want you to know I’m proud of you, because you made it here. Your fears are normal and you’re not alone with them. So try to just live your live,be happy and remember to always put your mental health first. If you’re really struggling with a fear that much that it influences you in your daily life there’s no shame in seeking professional help. Societal pressure is hard and even the strongest of us break under it sometimes. But you’ll find back to yourself.
I believe in you
love, Alli xx