Meeting new people as a shy person

Hello you beautiful people,

I’m very sorry that I haven’t posted anything in like forever. So I went back to my flat because I had to write an exam, studied for another one but the night before I decided not to write it because there would have been no point in it because I barely know anything about it, then I had to clean the whole flat massively (I tell you there is a lot of dust if you and you flatmate aren’t there for over 1 month!), I met up with some of my friends that I haven’t seen since we all went home to enjoy our holidays (well sort of enjoying them when you have to work the whole time) and lastly I had to pack because then I went on holidays in Scotland i.e. I’m annoying the shit out of Katie ;). And finally I’m back at Uni and today started the first week of the new Semester, so I have a regular days again.

But here it is finally:

Meeting new people as a shy person. As you might could have guess from this long into, I met new people when I was at Katies and as you also might could have guessed, I’m a shy person around new people. So I thought I’m going to share my tips and tricks when meeting new people and make everything a bit less awkward in trying to give you and myself a bit of a prep talk.

So, meeting new people is always awkward for everybody. One of my main issues is always that I feel that I’m making a fool out of myself when I meet people. Start with the introduction, how on earth are you greet them? Like with just a ‘Hello, nice to meet you, my name is Jenny.’, just hello, a wave and hello, handshakes, hugs, kisses on the cheeks, nothing at all????????? Like what on earth is appropriate???? You can see I always feel very secure right from the start.

If you finally got over the awkward introduction of 2 people try two different things from the above and kinda meet in the middle, which looks even weirder that you can imagine, what’s next? If its a group of people you meet do you just join in the conversation and pretend your friends friends are automatically your friends? Do you sit quietly in the corner and join in with some laughters and approval nods? Or do you sit there completely quite, trying to get as little attention as possible? What on earth is the right thing to do?

How much do you tell them about yourself? Just the things that are necessary? As much as you would tell any other friend? Sit in the corner and pretend you didn’t hear them ask you a question? A selected amount of facts and things about yourself? Sit in the corner, cry and ignore everybody?

And when you leave your friends friends again how do you say goodbye? Do you hug them as well as your friend does? Do you just stand there say bye? Wave again and say bye? Run away and never come back?

As time has told me, there is no need in questioning all these things. Everybody you will meet is different and you never can use a certain schema on everybody. It always depends on the situation and people you with and around. Like I met new people were it was totally fine that I hugged them when I met them and for some odd reasons we behaved like we have known each other for years. And then there have been situations where my only thought was ‘when I can leave again?’. I think in the end there is no difference if you are a shy person or not, meeting new people is always scary for everybody because you never know how well you get along with the other person and what it will be like talking to them.

Of course extroverted people usually struggle a little less with meeting new people because they are out-going and, most of the time, like to talk to new people. But who says that they don’t get a bit scared either?

I think the only real advise I can give to shy people, like myself, is not to try to hide behind your shyness. When I moved to England and University, I basically knew nobody there so somehow I had to make new friends and if you want to make friends you have to talk to people first. Yes, it was scary and definitely not easy but it showed me that even though I’m shy, I can meet new people and I can go up to others and talk to them as well as every other person can on this earth. Your shyness is a part of your personality but isn’t something that should determined who you are. You can go up to the employee in the supermarket and ask how much the avocados cost. I’m more than sure they will give you an answer. You want to talk to that girl on the other table because she looks nice? Go for it, introduce yourself and start some small talk or ask her if she would like to work with you on this group-work. You see somebody with the same fan-merch, go to this person and ask if they like them and for how long and what other musician, people or whatever in this area the person likes. I bet with you 99% of the time the person will start talking to you and talk to you about it and who knows maybe this is even the start of a great friendship?

Sometimes we just have to straighten our back, hold our head held high and tell ourselves that we can do that. We can go this new person and ask them the question we want to ask them. We can do more than we actual think!!! You can do more than you actual think!!!

So next time you meet new people, don’t be shy and hide yourself, try to be confident (or at least fake to be confident) and talk to them. If you achieved to do so once, I can guarantee you that next time it will be easier and after a while you won’t even think about it any more.

Go out there and conquer the world, lovely people!!!!

Lots of love,

Jenny xxx

 

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