Story Time – A Lesson About Self Love

Hey boys and girls,

it’s Sunday Funday and that means it’s story time!! Well, at least this Sunday Funday it is
and I am gonna teach you something about relationships.
Not entirely…maybe…I’m not a date doctor or something, but as I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of months ago and my friend, let’s call her Holly, just got back together with her ex-boyfriend, we’re gonna call him Bennett for the sake of the story, it’s quite the recent topic for me.

The thing with my friend and her somehow (!) boyfriend is that they aren’t even officially a thing. They have been on and off for over 4 years and it just makes me mad how he leads her on all the time and gets incredibly jealous whenever she starts going on dates with other guys. Even when they’re relationship is currently off. He has no right to get jealous after all, at least not in an extreme way.
Now I’ve gotten to know him better recently and he seemed like a decent guy if you forget the fact that on New Year’s Eve he cheated on Holly with her best friend and then had a wonderfully happy relationship with that best friend, not anymore best friend, let’s just call her Gigi.
Holly is incredibly sweet, she is actually in general one of the kindest most positive people you’ll ever meet. She is beautiful inside and out, so instead of talking shit about Gigi, they talked about it and everything was fine between them so that she and Bennett could go on with their relationship as if nothing happened.
My friend Holly met a wonderful guy and for the first time, she actually had this sparkle in her eyes when talking about a boy. He treated her like a princess but in the end, they both found out they just don’t fit together in that way. Still, they remained friends.

Somewhere along the way, Bennett decided to call Holly again and let me tell you, it all went downhill from there. I wasn’t too keen on the whole situation, as he had cheated on her with her best friend after all, but hey, forgiveness is important.
But when Holly told me she apologized to Bennet for hanging out with this guy I was about to explode because she did not have any reason to apologize to him. To me, that seemed just ridiculous. They weren’t dating at that time, she was happy, even Bennett had a thing with a totally different girl while still with Gigi but he only just told Holly recently. All these months they’ve been seeing each other again he was mad at her for having something going on with another guy but he just moves on from Gigi with some random girl, never telling Holly about it, although it is basically the same situation.

Time moved on and I felt like they finally got their shit back together until she tells me that he never really calls or texts her and is always seen out and about with some new chick.
For me that was already too much, basically the final straw, but I just cannot get through to her anymore.
Deep down Holly probably knows how naive she is acting but she is also not doing anything, she still tries to get his attention and I thought she’s his girlfriend, after all, it’s only natural for her to want his attention.
But no, I thought wrong, they aren’t official. He is not ready for the commitment. He wants to have a certain freedom in the relationship. Excuse you, Bennett?? You’ve been on and off for 4 years and all of a sudden you decide not to make this official just so you can fool around with other girls?
You can imagine that I don’t even voice my opinion about this topic anymore because she won’t listen to me.
I completely lost my respect for him when he called her a „disgusting bitch“ because she had something going on with this guy when they weren’t dating. THEY WEREN’T DATING FOR F***S SAKE!!! Bennett, what do you expect her to do? Become a nun and wait for you to come back to her? FUCK NO! He told her that this guy wasn’t even that handsome and for the first time I heard Holly talk back to him by saying „Looks aren’t everything.“
Of course, Bennett told her that yes, looks are everything (Seriously?? I hate that guy!).
But I was proud of Holly for kind of talking back.
I just hope she breaks up with him for good or he undergoes a major personality makeover because this cannot go on like this.
It won’t make her happy. It’s a toxic relationship and I wish she would listen to me and our group of friends but then again, it’s her decision to make.
To me, this whole scenario shows that breaking up with my boyfriend was the right thing to do. When I look back at it, I do see a kind of toxic relationship pattern. He made me feel bad and blamed me for everything that happened.
When he couldn’t tell me he loved me after over a year of dating he pointed out how his parents got divorced and he has a hard time expressing feelings, which I understood.
I was always respecting this until it came to the point where he literally couldn’t pay me any compliments and even complained about me not ever saying anything nice to him.
Believe me, this was not the case. But I felt bad so I tried to make things better, to work on this relationship, just like Holly works on hers, trying to fix things.
But sometimes it cannot be fixed and you gotta know when your relationship has reached exactly that point. It doesn’t show you’re the weak one, not at all!
You know you are worth so much more. You are worth a relationship full of respect and mutual love and trust.
I wanted to tell you this story (well maybe it was also kind of a rant) to show you how important it is to love yourself first and to respect and cherish yourself. To know your worth.
Nothing in a relationship is solely your fault. It always takes two to make it function but when the other person in the relationship is blaming everything on you all the time and you feel like you have to prove them that you love them 24/7, without them giving anything back, well then there has to be something wrong.
Sometimes it is good to listen to your friends, who do know you. They will not always be right but most of the time they’ll realize when you’re not entirely happy before you even realize.
So please never think you’re not good enough or that things are supposed to be that way.
If you need someone to talk to, you can always message us on our official and private accounts. You are loved and you are worth it!

Loads and loads of love,
Lili xx

Twitter: @castaway_minds
Instagram: @castawayminds


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