My lovely people out there,
you may have realized that the chaotic person in me didn’t upload a blogpost last Friday and for that I am super duper sorry. I have exciting news though: I was in Berlin the whole weekend and I saw 5 Seconds of Summer on Monday. Can you believe it? Well I certainly can’t. I met so many wonderful people! (Shoutout to Leonie, Sally, Lisa, Adriana, Hann, Anna, Michelle, Linda and the girl with the gorgeous blue eyes that I forgot the name of…) But the best thing: I saw Ashton Irwin and he smiled and waved at me, that was kind of a little fangirl moment for me. Usually I try to keep it together, they are normal people after all but I couldn’t help but notice that some girls just can’t keep their shit together. Usually the same type of fangirl that I could spot everywhere around that arena.
So here’s a little guide for you guys who are not in the 5sos Fam or just started being a fan on how to spot a 5sos Fan. Please don’t take this too seriously, I am only having a bit of fun with a stereotype, plus I personally dressed like that way before I got into the 5sos Fam so the possibilities of you dressing the same way because you just like it are pretty high.
But without further ado, here’s my guide:
1. The Flannel
5sos Fans are pretty fond of their flannels, they are more or less their holy grail. If you spot a Fan wearing a Flannel refrain from saying anything negative about it, they will rip off your head in a heartbeat. A Flannel is worn by so called „fake“ fans as well as committed members of the 5sos Fam. The average 5sos Fan ties the Flannel around their hips to make a highly unique and incredibly punk fashion statement. However, you can spot a few members of the tribe wearing it as a substitute for a jacket or coat. No, they don’t get cold – ever
2. The right shoes
The right shoes are incredibly important. They have to protect the feet of 5sos Fans while they are camping in front of a hotel or an arena. Even if they’re just waiting at the backstage entrance the shoes play a huge part. They are not only a way to communicate that you are a 5sos Fan, they are also a way to feel close to Michael, Calum, Ashton or Luke as they coincidentally wear the same shoes as the fans.
Preferred attire includes Dr. Martens, for the more daring kinds of the 5sos Fan species or for the so-called Michael girls. Plain black Converse, preferably high top Chuck Taylors, are often worn by Luke or Calum girls. Another favorite would be black Vans as often seen on Calum Hood. In case you feel a bit daring and are part of the Non-Emo section of the 5sos Fam you might even go for Bordeaux colored Vans, but that sight is really rare. Nevertheless it is acceptable to wear Neon Pink Dr. Martens!
3. Band Merch
This includes any Band Merch. The 5sos fan is a quite peculiar human being and therefore they like to sport Merch from other bands than 5 Seconds of Summer to a concert. Popular and often seen examples include: Nirvana, Green Day, Blink 182, The Ramones, Iron Maiden or recently becoming more popular Twenty One Pilots. Regardless of whether they listen to these bands or not they enjoy coming across as educated music lovers that only listen to vinyls and read art magazines.
Do not confuse a normal 5sos Fan with a 5sos Fan that is wearing 5sos merch. If this 5sos merch is not worn in the form of a small accessory that 5sos fan is to be approached with great caution. They might burst into tears at the sight of a Tourbus or be around 13 and quite obsessed with the thought of marrying a 5sos band member. If you do get in contact with one of these fans you got three options: First you could try and calm them down and talk some sense into them, as this is usually not working you could make use of the second option: Tell them calmly that 5sos are already inside the arena and you talked to a staff member and they won’t be coming out. As this can cause an emotional breakdown or violent behavior like screaming and calling you a liar (not even a pretty little liar, how dare they?!) you might want to try option three: Either yell „Oh my god that’s 5sos’s van over there.“ and watch them run off or you run to the next airport as fast as you can, book a flight to Australia, change your name to Esmeralda and work in a kangaroo animal shelter for the rest of your life. Or just give them a bitchy look, sometimes that works as well.
Disclaimer: If they own a foam finger all hope is lost! RUN! Run while you still can. Make sure you’re hiding somewhere safe and that all your mutuals are with you. If they’re not I wouldn’t advice going back, they’ll have to fight their own battle and make it back to the pack on their own. A fan with a foam finger is not to be trusted!
4. Clothes in general
My headings get more creative with every point I make, am I right?
In their natural habitat 5sos Fans feel most comfortable in black, ripped, skinny jeans as they remind them of their extra special connection to the 5sos band members no one else in the world has. Knee High or Overknee stockings might also be spotted quite frequently, you wanna look sexy when you see a 5sos band member right? Additionally they make you seem so super duper punk rock! Acid washed teeny tiny shorts would be an option for the summer, paired with fishnet tights and you got yourself an on point summer outfit.
5. Make Up
It is important that a 5sos fan has an eyeliner that looks as sharp as if it could kill someone (preferably another fan that is blocking their view on 5sos). Notwithstanding, there are two types of 5sos make up looks. You have those fans who just rock a bold lipstick along with their eyeliner, often red but you can spot the occasional berry lip or really really dark red. These lipcolours are usually used to draw attention on their lips and make them seem especially kissable, in case they ever are in a situation in which they have to convince 5sos that their personality traits are even better than those from anyone else and they should definitely date them. On the other hand you have the fans that go full out there with contouring, fake lashes and loads and loads of highlighter. They need to show they sparkle as bright as a star and to underline that Kylie Jenner Lip Kit colors are their go-to lip colour. If the lips are „overlined“ even better, they need to look as full and as pouty as possible and if that effect can’t be achieved by merely applying their lipliner and lipstick, they do not refrain from getting their lips done. Everything to make 5sos see their natural beauty.
So this is it, if you can think of anything else, don’t hesitate to message me on our social media. I hope you actually found this funny, because I do but my humor is the worst! (I’m a sucker for bad jokes and I think they’re funny)
Remember that this is supposed to be funny, I do not mean this seriously in any way. I dress like that, I wear make up like that and I listen to 5sos music. I am however sorry if I offended anyone.
I hope you have the most wonderful day filled with sunshine, love, puppies or kittens whatever you prefere and rainbows…and cakes! And Oreos!
Loads and loads of love to you out there,
Find my beautiful friends on their social media:
Sallys Twitter: @zayns_hemmo
Leonies Twitter: @_Leonie_97
Susies Twitter (the girls with the blue eyes): @idkasausie
Adrianas Twitter: @michaelswaves
Annas Twitter: @fvcknlucas
Hanns Twitter: @moonliqhtae